This Is My Warm, Snuggly, Safe Guy Look

Headline: lookin for a nice woman that don't care

Stats:
30 yrs old, drinks at least 3 times a week, longest relationship was less than a year long, works as sales associate at a discount store.

About Me:
hows it going you can call me [REMOVED].not much to tell bout me i'm turning a new leaf on life.but feel free to ask about me.oh yea and i don't drive so if thats a problem then move on from my profile.well if you are still here and like what you read hit me up.also i'm good for conversations.i don't expect much from this site just to talk to people.

First Date:
up for anything
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Blogger Commentary:
Hey, Keanu Reeves (from the Matrix) called and wants his "look" back! He doesn't drive huh? Probably a by-product of his drinking at least 3 times a week! He's looking for a "nice woman that don't care" - you gotta love a guy who sets the bar low. Anything over that mark is just a bonus to him!

Hit Me Up With Yo Money!!

Headline: if u not talking abt muney dnt hmu

About Me: Most of da time iam working iam busy person i listen music wen iam abt go bed iam funny person i lik make people laugh

First Date:
Iam cool gt along wit jst dnt cme at me wrng i lik shop go out to eat movies ihve one daughter she mean the world to me iam single parent about go back school for earlychild hood edu. anything else u ned kno jst hmu
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Blogger Commentary:

Again here we go with the god-awful incomprehensible ghetto-speak! Her profile says she has some college. Seriously where are these people going to college? McUniversity? Pulling their college courses off the dollar menu? Holy crap this country is so Effed, if these are our future leaders! Anyway, I digress.

Ok fellas' you may want to bring the GHB (date rape drug) and use it on yourself to get through a night with this one!

Longfellow, This Fellow Is NOT!

About Me:
Who am I? I'm independence, gallant, truth, vigor, loyalty, I'm a strong man only because a strong women has instilled that ability, I HAVE MY OWN EVERYTHING which makes me an asset not a liability. Who am I ?????? Well, they call me Brother to the night. And right now I'm the blues in your left thigh... trying to become the funk in your right. Is that all right? I'm mental stimulation...I love long walks through an intriguing mind that I can adorn with appreaction. Where some say love is dead because they hung it with a rope. I say Im faith because a soul is lost without hope. Who am I? I'm a survivor carrying chivalry on my back, through the wire ive become a man just waitin for the right woman who can appreciate that. Is that alriiiight? *WHO ARE U???*** Well...if u got this far then u know my name is [REMOVED]. Yes a lil love [REMOVED] and a lot of me combined

Are there any women who love cooking anymore?


*** My ideal woman should have these qualities...loyalty,honesty,spontaneity,confidence,ambition,self-sufficient,humor, patience, adventurous, creatively competitive ;-), enjoys being happy a lot more then being depressed..lol, and one who doesn't mind dressing up on special occasions ;-), one who loves movies with late nights and candle lights.
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Blogger Commentary:
This guy attempts to wax poetic, and achieves an epic fail! He makes no point, We still know very little about him- other than he has a very healthy self-esteem!

Apparently Gangsta Poker Face Is Still Considered Attractive

Screen Name: SuperJuicey

Headline: Words dnt mean nuthin only Action does !

About Me:
I love to shop go to the movies,dinner,bowlin,I love to skate im very gd at it dnt test my skillz lol anyway I love to travel I love amusement parks and beaches I like to go to the casino penny machine only not much of a gambler Im very romantic easy to get along with I also have a low tolorence for bullshit,drama,games ect I am very blunt,striaght forward and I keep it a trillion so hmu ! :)

First Date:
A romantic dinner candle lite si on sum nice wine listen to m slow jamz then have alittle desert and talk and laugh and enjoy each other :D
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Blogger Commentary:
Again, here we have more women who couldn't construct a legible sentence even if it meant getting a winning spot on their favorite lame-O reality TV show! They are still apparently under the delusion that absolute illiteracy and ghetto-speak is a desired trait to be passed down to their unfortunate offspring.

I like to also suppose that these are the same people who love to pull the “race” card when things don’t go their way- “It’s because I’m [INSERT ETHNICITY] Isn’t it?” No sweetie, it’s because you’re dumb as hell, and you’re obviously proud of it!

With this woman, only like-minded gangsta’ types need apply, everyone else need not insult their intelligence, and steer clear!

.....Wow An Honest Man On A Dating Site?.....

Headline: Discreet Good Times
About Me:
To be totally honest with you..I am looking for ongoing discreet fun with a sexy partner. I want someone with a dirty mind & uninhibited drive.
I love to please. Nothing makes me happier than seeing you with a smile on your face & you feeling wonderful. I am a very giving person. What turns me on is turning you on...whatever it takes.
I am a great looking guy that is just missing some spice in his life. I have fantasies that have been left unfulfilled and would love to help you live out some of your dreams as well.
I have pictures I will gladly share with the right woman. Feel free to contact me & lets get a spectacular relationship started.
Feel free to add on the book, [REMOVED]

First Date:
As long as we are both smiling at the end...our date is successful.
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Blogger Commentary:
Well this guy and the girl on the blog below him should totally hook up! They're looking for exactly the same thing- go figure! lol.

.....Well At Least She's Honest......

Headline: looking for casual sexual encounters
About Me:
Love to hang out.....like casual relationships and no strings attached....just having fun.....enjoy life...like abs on sexy men.....interested in trying different things....adventurous...thrill seeker/risk taker

First Date:
Watching sunset, romantic dinner, scary movie, then some mind blowing break-your-back, you-my-b***h kind of sex
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Blogger Commentary:
At least this one is honest about what she is looking for! I give her tons of credit for just putting it out there!

I'm Too Sexy For A Photo (At Least That's What He Keeps Telling Himself)

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Got A Little Gangsta In Me!

Headline: what up motha ****a?!                             .......Swoon....She had me at "motha ****a?!"

About Me:

hey!! my hobbies are... drinkin with my best friend!! n gettin loud!! i like fishin, n bein outside... that covers all bases... :) i am goin to school n i work. im a tough girl not a lil **** so vagina boys n lard asses stay away!! i am down to try new things n go on new adventures... but not with mexicans... or black ppl... perty much if u aint white dont msg me... i dont like perty boys, i like rough n dirty... i dont like ur fancy space cars n all ur money. i like real men. if i dont msg back its prolly cuz i aint interested n ur prolly borin me... sooo with all this said, dont msg me sayin what a **** i am... dont waste ur time... i will just laugh at you... thanks!!!
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Blogger Commentary:
She says she has some university- this is obvious in the way she writes. But to her credit, at least she had the decency of editing herself with asterisks (and for that we thank you).

This one is a bit racist- but  hey, we all have the flavors that we're into. So I ain't haten' (oh crap, I'm starting to sound like her).

So there you have it boys, this one's a real keeper! - It's a shame that she looks so good, but is dumb as hell!

Uhhhhhh....He Thinks He's Cool....

About Me:

Single, very fit and attractive looking for ladies who are sexy, funny, love to have fun. witty a plus but can make exceptions if your real cute ! maybe!!!

Im looking to meet interesting attractive ladies to go out with and have fun.
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Blogger Commentary:
Wow ladies, this guy doesn't seem shallow at all. It seems he's really down to earth. And if you look "real cute" AKA - BANGIN' HOT-but happen to be dumb as hell, he may make an exception for you. What a gracious fellow, this guy!

Hooked On Phonics Sure Worked For This One!

About Me:

hey im [REMOVED] im 21 im full mexican im cool easy goin and im looking for a kool guy to talk to and get to knw even dou i dnt think im ever gonna find wat im lookin for in here but i nv knw im amayb pretty and thick and sweet but i havent found ma guy i dnt got kids n i need a serious man not someone to just talk to but also get ro knwake him mine n if ur talkin to me its only me not the whole [REMOVED] site cuz i got alot of homegurlss in here that i knw n its not cute wen we find out we been talkin to the same guy ! so get at me if ur serious if not peace out,!
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Blogger Commentary:
Now you have just gotta find it super sexy that not only does this girl have mad grammar skills, but that she is posing with the "duck lips" with her fingers cocked like a gun! Oh baby!!

And what's with this speak of all her "homegurlss?" Home Girls (for us literate types). Am I gonna get jumped if I date this one? -Doesn't she just make you feel all warm, safe and cuddly inside?

I think I may want to bring her to Easter dinner to meet my mom and family!

Gee I Did't Know Paris Hilton Was Available!

About Me
-Music
-Beach
-Candy
-Boys With Tattoos
-Money
-Cars
-Shopping
-Being adored
-Spoiled

Just need one to prove there not all the same...
I'm not the how type you spit game to I'm the wifey type you give your last name to...
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Blogger Commentary:
Wow, this one seems like the type to get engrossed in deep meaningful conversation- about Prada, Gucci, and Louis Vuitton. More apt to ask for your credit card before wanting to meet your kids. If you're riding in a car worth less than eighty grand, she wouldn't be seen is such a beater! And if you're not showering her with gifts and singing her praises 24-7, she just may move on to a more qualified suitor.

So there ya have it fellas! -If you're into plastic in all its various forms, this one's for you!

My Doppelgänger Is a Muppet? I Need A Redo!

Blogger Commentary:
It's never a good sign when someone sees your photo and the first thing that comes to mind is that you look like a Muppet. You probably should have thought your "high fashion" through a bit more thoroughly.

But then again, maybe she's looking for the Fozzie Bear type- which may be her perfect match! Ya just never know now do ya!

Strictly Dickly- WTF?

About Me:

First off Imma start by saying, If your gonna message me and b creepy, or just want sex. Please save us both the time and effort and just don't message me. I can have sex w/ enough guys if I wanted to, I'm looking for a guy that will like me for who I am. I understand Chivalry is dead but Dam.. Anyways I'm new to Louisville, been here for a few months. I like to pretty much just Hang out with my friends and party a little bit. I'm easily entertained, so the first time we meet don't put to much thought into it. To save us both the trouble and awkwardness of me telling you in person, I am Transgendered. Love it or Hate it, I've accepted it and hopefully I can find a guy who will do the same. If you have any other questions just ask (:
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Blogger Commentary:
First of all- any guy who sees a mouth surrounded by spikes- should quickly run away! -looks more like a trap than a mouth!

....And as we hear the screeching halt of the record player...    DID "SHE" JUST SAY TRANSGENDERED!?                    YIKES!

Hi:) I Get Paid On The 3rd Of Each Month!

Age: 20

Education: Some College

Profession: Artist

About Me:

im a kool grl 2 chill with..I likk 2 have fun...I dnt take no bull frm nobdy..crack jokes maken pple laugh..Im a artist I do tattoos sumtymes an I do alil graffiti an traveling an shopping...My type of music is rapp,pop,r&b
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Blogger Commentary:
What the hell is up with this grammar? Is this what our colleges are teaching these days? No wonder America is behind the curve compared to the rest of the world- It's people who spell like this!

So she's a professional artist? AKA Prison Tattoos. -And graffiti? Last I checked, that's illegal. So really she's saying she's broke as as a joke!

Sounds like a real winner, this one!

Trying To Figure Out Exactly What's She Got?

The following is this girl's "points of interest" on her dating profile:

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*I Got My Own*

18 Yr. old.

Some college

Profession: Dancing,Doing my makeup

About Me:

- I'm very intelligent I'm not a real club going girl but if I'm feeling myself I will go and im the oldest girl my mom have I want to have something in life I don't like men that talk to you next day they don't know you exist I'm sexy fun talented I'm a real good kisser I love hanging out with he girls but I will make time for my man when we want me to and when I love I, I LOVE FORREAL ian on that fake sh*tand if you look at my pic and don't read what point of it inbox in me if you don't anything about me... Any More Questions??hmuu youu guys

First Date:

Our first date would have to be dinner a walk through a park or a museum or some and then we would just watch the sunset I guess and cuddle.... Etc(I don't **** on first dates)

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Blogger Commentary:

Now OBVIOUSLY she is very intelligent as she states. Her command of the English language is astonishing! I wonder what she would be like during that museum tour she says she would like to go on for the first date? -Maybe she meant the Children's Museum?

Professional dancer and makeup "artist" -That's definately someone to take home to mamma!

She says "I don't ****on first dates" - So the second date, she's ALL IN! NICE :)

GOOD LUCK FELLAS!

More Lips Than Hips?......I'm Not Sure If I Wanna Know!

Oh......My.....Gosh......

(Shaking my head in disbelief)

Seriously? This Is The Best Photo You Could Come Up With?

My names [REMOVED] and I'm 22... I don't know a lot of people here. Just bored, wanting to meet new friends.
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Blogger Commentary:


"names" Does she have plural name's?- you know, like in multiple personalities? And the photo- just SCREAMS "hey, I'm a nice pleasant girl to be around!" WOW!

Geee...I Wonder What Her IN Box Looks Like?

Hi! My name is [REMOVED]. I am 5'6" and weight 115 pounds. I love fitness and have devoted my time to this passion. I teach body pump/attack. I can set aside fitness and be a great partner. ;)

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Blogger Commentary:

And that's all her discription says! She is OBVIOUSLY looking for an honest upstanding man! OMG! LMAO!

Blow Up Doll

 

Blogger Commentary:
I think I shall dub this unfortunate photo BLOW UP DOLL! And this is her actual MAIN photo on the dating site! Good luck guys with this one!