...As I Gaze Down The Valley Of......Oh Wait....Nevermind!!

Blogger Commentary:
I just gotta say, this is one of the more "interesting" camera angles I have seen in a long time!

Now that you are done looking down her shirt, go click on my ads!

Dude Looks Like A Lady- And Other Observations

Blogger Commentary:

Last night I logged onto the dating site as my “female” profile. I posted my “legs” photo and again my inbox blew up! I decided to have some fun with it. I chatted with a bunch of the guys for several hours.  The following are a few comments and observations I would like to make:

Most men are illiterate, knuckle-dragging Neanderthals! They can’t formulate a sentence to save their lives. They obviously haven’t heard of the theory that if you want people to be interested in you, you first need to be genuinely interested in them.  The men I encountered last night were interested in seeing what THE REST OF ME looks like, They were interested in video chatting, texting me, calling me- all presumably to get me in a position to where they can be inappropriate. I had no part of that [obviously].

I let the men know that the reason I don’t have a photo of my face online is because of “all the bad experiences I have had” [lie]. I further let them know that it is obvious that I am not overweight and that I am in great condition [refer to legs photo] and that I want someone to get to know ME as a person, not distracted by what I look like.

I called multiple men out on the “lines” they were trying to feed me. One that stands out is this guy messages me and says that he wants me to text him a photo of me and that he PROMISES that he will delete my phone number. LMAO Whatever!  IDIOTS!!

One of the realizations I’m beginning to see is that single men and women both want very similar things. They all want love, affection, and intimacy. And in the online world, “packaging and presentation” is EVERYTHING! You cannot come up to a woman online (or anywhere for that matter) with the attitude of they OWE you a picture or anything. Nobody OWES you ANYTHING! You cannot think that you are THAT good that you can just come out and ask for sex talk, photos, or anything like that right away. The “ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE” mantra is void in this instance.

After having posed as a woman online and experienced briefly what women experience daily in the online world, I have so much more respect and empathy for them and what they have to put up with. I just hope that these lessons will stay with me and that I will never come off to a woman the way that these men have in this experiment.

 

Now show me that you are a class act, and click on the ads around this post! Please and thank you!:)

This Is How The Hoochie Mamma Checks Your Oil!

Headline: Looking for a hard working romantic man
Profession: security officer
About Me:
Me and my man

First Date:
Full of romance ...
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Blogger Commentary:
Here we have a girl just praying to the gods that some dumb rich guy will scoop her up. Because good looks is all she has! We all know what happens to those looks- time will not be kind to her I'm sure!

Says she is a security guard. For what? Victoria's Secret?

OK guys, wipe the drool off your chin and go click on some more tasteful ads around this post!

Look What Ronald Found On The Dollar Menu!

Profession: collage for Massage
About Me:
i have 2 great kids 1 19 girl an a boy 13.. they live for ther mom... 2 dogs,
Im going to school for massage....
i like to shoot guns at targets down field like 100 yards or more.
i like to cook.
dont watch to much T.v
if you wood like to no more just ask.....


WHY IS IT THAT MOST OF THE WOMEN ON HERE JUDGE A BOOK BY THE COVER AN NOT THE STORY INSIDE.......

First Date:
some where we can talk an get to know each other over a drink or dinner what ever as long as its fun....
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Blogger Commentary:
Well to answer your question about why women judge a book by the cover is because you are posing with Ronald McDonald, looking like a slouch, and can't spell correctly (including the word "college"). All of that does not lend to gaining any kind of instant credibility (which is what your profile should inspire). What this profile screams is, I'm to lazy to put a flattering photo of me on the profile, I don't pay attention to details, among other non-attractive traits.

OK kids, now is the time you skip on over the the side of this post and click on the ads! Consider it like browsing the Dollar Menu  at the franchise depicted above! You'll love it!!

How Come Cougars In The Movies Are Way Hotter Than These?

Profession: Cougar
About Me:
WOW IM ONE DOWN TO EARTH COUGAR I LIKE MAKEING FRIENDS N I AWAYS SAY SMILE N THE WORLD WIL SMILE BACK I HAVE RESPECT HONESTY N TRUST N IF U CAN HANG WITH THIS THAN WE R GOOD TO GO..ASK ME ANYTHING I JUST TELL!!!

First Date:
MY FIRST DAT IS ALWAYS A MYSTERY COZ U MAY NEVER KNOW WHO'S REAL N WHO'S NOT LOL
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Blogger Commentary:
I always love an honest woman! I wonder why she is concerned about "WHO'S REAL N WHO'S NOT?" If both of you are DTF, then what's the problem? It doesn't seem as though she wants a relationship or to take someone to Sunday dinner here! LOL.

Now for all you "cougar bait" reading this- run on over to the the ads surrounding this post to possibly get a glimpse of some normalcy!

Ahhhh The Power Of Positive Thinking.......DIDN'T WORK FOR THIS GUY!

About Me:
i have been a mess i am an ***hole and i am a ****ed up guy i guess maybe i beat myself up to much but i have to do something i have to change something

First Date:
Anything.
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Blogger Commentary:
Weather forecast: Black clouds, rain showers, depressing as hell! Perhaps for his first date he may want to just get all hard core and snort lines of Prozac! It probably will do him some good. I wonder if he is looking for someone just as morose as himself? This guy is depressing me just looking at him!

......Ok....Welp, if you're not going to date him......you might as well just click on the ads to the side and bottom of this post- they're probably much more exciting than this guy.....SIGH.....

I'm Bettin' All My Cards That My Temporary Cute-Ness Will Carry Me The Rest Of My Life. Cuz I'm Dumb As Fuuuuuu....

About Me:
hi guys im sabrina ima thinking im not gona b on this one for long so who knows..i love too hang out with my friends and family..n im just looking fa that right guy i meane i know he is out there for me im just not looking hard tho..message me if u wana no more...............bored AF AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HELP...ok men i love the colors blue n pink they r my fav colors and i love pizza and freach fries i mean i love freach fries n chcoclate...


what i look for n a guy is

1.he has too sweet n smart
2.i like a guy that knows what he wants out of life
3. blue or brown eyes i like my men tall
4.must have a good job
5 must no how too treat a lady..

well thats it fo no guys hit me up if u wana get too no me i mean i like fun....and one mo other thang i love Country muisc and rap.my fav is hunter hayes,carrie underwood,brentley gilbert....well thats it for now ill add mo later
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Blogger Commentary:
You know it's a shame that beautiful girls like this become so vile and ugly the second they either speak or attempt to type a sentence! Someone needs to seriously tip them off that only the broke-ass-gangstas think they are cute. Note: She mentioned that her guy must have a good job. Presenting herself in the way she does will only attract the broke-ass douche bags who don't know how to treat a lady. Besides, I'm pretty sure even SHE  doesn't know what it's like to ACT like a lady- forget being treated like one!

The spelling and grammar issues in her post? I've beat that dead horse ad nauseam  in this blog!

Aaaaight all you Lil Kim wanna-be's get yer swerve on over to the side of this post and start clickin' those ads! We all know you know how to click dat mouse! (and not much else).

Hey Cinderella, I Got Your Lost Slipper Here! I Hope It's A 10 1/2!!

Profession: Nissan,footlocker, metro parks
About Me:
I'm very silly always having and lookin for a good tim$e u will always hav a good time wit me I have 3 jobs an a full time student an also teach swim lessons an water aerobic class so in very busy so when I'm free I hav to hav fun an be in stress free environment jus lookin for a good time all expenses on me get at yo boy if u lookin for a good time
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Blogger Commentary:
First of all, you gotta love that his main profile pic is on a bike that he obviously couldn't afford, which is why he is posed in a motorcycle dealership! WTF! Let's go to a Ferrari dealership to snap a photo of me sitting in a car I'll never own! Who does this! HONESTLY? - Oh yeah, the same guy that overextends his Footlocker employee discount!

Well if you're into guys who pose on motorcycles they can't afford, horde Footlocker shoes, has horrible grammar, and guides you to their Instagram page [NOT LISTED], this is your boy! You're gonna love him - for like 30 seconds- and then you'll want to RUN!

Now slip on a pair of those $115.95 pair of Nike's (discounted down to $79.95) and start tappin' those ads to the right and bottom of this post!!

Ridden Way Too Hard Last Night- But Just Snap The Damn Photo!

Headline: WANT TO MEET UP TONIGHT
About Me:
WHAT UP??LOOKING FOR INTERESTING NIGHT.LETS MEET OVER DINNER AND SEE IF YOU CAN FILL SOME DESIRES I HAVE,SATISFY NEEDS YOU HAVE AND HAVE A GOOD TIME TOGETHER,NOT LOOKING TO BE IN RELATIONSHIP AT THIS TIME.IM IN TO THINGS IM SURE YOU WOULD REALLY ENJOY ,MEN ONLY THOUGH-looking for real deal,no players, I AM REAL AND I DONT LIKE TO SET DATES AND NO SHOWS.I DONT DRIVE SO YOU WILL HAVE TO.IF YOU LIVE OUTSIDE MAINE,DONT TALK TO ME UNLESS YOU ARE GOING TO MEET ME, IM NOT ON HERE FOR CHAT BUDDIES.WILL EXCHANGE PHONE NUMBERS.HOPE TO HEAR BACK.-------lol i just made a funny-POF IS TOO MUCH CLICKING NOT ENOUGH****NG

First Date:
DINNER,TALK TAKE FROM THERE.BUT IT HAS TO BE IN PUBLIC PLACE TO BEGAN WITH.
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Blogger Commentary:
She's honest and she love to shout (IN ALL CAPS). I would venture to guess that's the way she is in bed too?

My question to women like this (because this is the second one recently on this blog) is why is that it seems that you had your latest conquest snap your current profile photo? You're all haggard and worn out- what a better time for a photo! lol

You may be equally haggard just by reading her profile, you may even need to rinse your eyes out. go refresh your senses by clicking on the ads surrounding this post! You'll probably feel much better!

He Just Got A "D" In College And Class Hasn't Begun!

About Me:
I am going back to colledge to make the rest of my life easier. Love kids and don't mind watching them once in a while.Get along with everyone,have no enemys. Think life should be fun not stressful. Take it as it comes kind of guy.

First Date:
Whatever she wants! I'm not picky.
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Blogger Commentary:
1992 called and Chuck Norris wants his look back! I really hope he pays attention in college this time around, because he already has a"D" in the subject! He really does seem like a great guy- just really has no clue! I'm thinking he really does need to be a little more picky about quite a few things, including his first dates.

OK students let's make this guy's college payments by heading over to those advertisements and clicking on them! We gotta put this guy through school somehow!

Pneumatic Mammories With A Side Of Cornhole (The Lawn Game You Sickos!!)

Stats: Non-smoker with undisclosed body type
Interests:
Shoes
Football
Fishing
Shopping
Tattoos
Golf
Rugby
Hunting
Beach
Beerpong
Baseball
Basketball
Mudding
Moonshine

Cornhole

About Me:
ROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL TIDE
Born and raised in south Alabama,, in myrtle going to the golf academy until the end of August..
looking to meet some cool new people...

First Date:
........surprise me
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Blogger Commentary:
By this point in the blog, we are not surprised that here, again, we have another buxom beauty milking the camera time and screen time for her voluptuous assets. Her eyes are barely visible in the shadow of the twin peaks.

This is where you set your glass of whole milk down and bounce on over to the right side to click on the ads! You could even bend on down below this post and click on the bottom ads!  Thank you! (now wipe off your milk mustache)

Jesus Freak Is....Well.....JUST A FREAK!

About Me:
The key to any success begins with our Heavenly Father and His Holy Son Jesus Christ, honesty and truth.

I was born and raised in Charleston, SC. After high school, I joined the Army and completed three combat tours. I decided to get out and pursue a college education, in which I graduated with my Master's. I love to learn. I enjoy anything that can challenge me intellectually; however, that doesn't mean drama or playing silly-little mind games. Be true to yourself, and anyone you invite into your life. I also enjoy the performing arts, romanticism and history. I believe intelligence is a natural aphrodisiac, in all sense of the word. I would like to meet someone that has common interests, is intelligent, believes in God, family-oriented, believes in communication and is in tune with her self and surroundings. I would like to meet and make new friends and go from there. I love to laugh and make people laugh, so a sense of humor is a must. I know we all have had bad experiences in the past, but don't judge me from your past experiences, I won't. Honesty is a huge plus with me.

This may sound like I'm jaded but I'm really not. I have a sense of humor and I do try and find humor in situations.

Sorry to emphasize this; however, please make sure that the pictures you have posted are rather recent and not older than 6 months. Sorry, there's a story there.

If you are currently married and, here's the kicker:

don't want to be; and/or,
think that the two of you may separate; and/or,
he is not home enough; and/or,
he won't watch Friends/Mad About You/Golden Girls with you twice a day or crime episodes all day; and/or,
think that he doesn't love you anymore; and/or,
tired of being married; and/or,
just looking for some thing on the side; and/or,
or whatever sorry excuse you may conjure up, DO NOT RESPOND PLEASE! I am not into that; not now, not ever.

I do try to make light of some women that I have encountered. One more rant and I'm done. Please pay attention to this part, it's also very important. Please, please, please don't ever ever ever e-mail me if:

-You can't read this ON YOUR OWN, or don't understand my profile.
-You don't know where you live (what city).
-You have more facial/chest/back or for that matter, body hair, than men.
-If your idea of a fun-filled night includes checking in every place we go, on your phone, so you can be the "mayor" of that place.
-You have to have an alcoholic drink on a daily basis or your idea of a good time must involve alcohol.
-If the words in your profile are merely a quote from someone not yourself.
-The only few pictures you "happen to have" of yourself are older than 6-7 months because you "are always the one taking pictures and find it hard to take one of" yourself.
-Fi yuo cnt spel like i kan.
-If you feel the need to e-mail me and criticize my profile, tell me how jaded I am, blah blah blah, you are definitely one of the weird and psychotic women that I am making reference about. If this offends you, :)
-You just started telling your parents 6 months ago that you love them because you are not "an emotional person."
-Think it might be fun for me to join in a sexual encounter with your husband/boyfriend and you or have them watch you and I have sex.
-"Hey" "Hello" ";)" and/or "loved ur profile" are the only things you put in the body of an e-mail sent to me.
-When we actually do start communicating, you suck every second of the conversation to talk about you, what your ex did to you, how you know everything, blah blah blah.
-You feel that the entire universe, to include God, should be at your summons.
-For some psychotic reason, those pictures taken of you 5 years ago, you know the ones where you are 5 years younger than you are now, are your posted pictures.
-The pictures that you do have posted are more of a progressive time line, beginning about 20 years ago and updated one picture for every 2-7 years.
-Think that plasma TV's has something to do with human blood.
-You judge things that you and your date will do based on what your ex did to you; or can't just get over the fact that he left you, or you him.
-For some strange and weird reason my profile offends you.
-If As The World Turns, Guiding Light, and Days of Our Lives get their plot ideas from your life.
-You speak/write in texting lingo, a lot. If so, AMF U SCB (I had to actually look these up to make this up).
-You have to ask me things that are already in my profile such as where I was born because you won't take the time to read, or can't read. If that's the case, you aren't understanding what I'm saying about you anyway.
-The pictures(s) that you do have posted are of possibly you and several of your female friends together in each picture, some of whom can fit the characteristics described in age, ethnicity and body type. In other words, I have to play "Guess which one I am!"
-If your precious dog Foo Foo has more real teeth than you do.
-You are considering running for the president of man-haters club, or currently serve in an official or ex-officio position.
-The only picture posted is one of an animal or nature or menu or ...
-You have more than one personality, been told you do by several people to include mental health official(s), or recognize it yourself, and then try to blame it on your astrological sign.
-You have more pictures of your feet and toes, than you do of yourself (aka your body). Or heck, for that matter, any pictures of just your feet and/or toes posted on your profile. What's up with that? That's just weird.
-Finally, at the height of your sense of fun, you feel that showing me your butterfly collection will somehow, and miraculously, woo me over, hmmmmmmmm.

If you believe in God, and I hope you do, then you accept Jesus Christ as His Holy Son and our Savior. This is a must (non-negotiable, do not understand those that don't believe). I try to live for Him. I don't go to church like I should but my Faith is solid.
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Blogger Commentary:
I actually kinda liked this guy's profile- It's an effing novel, but I found his list at the end to be humorous. The Born-Again-Christian plugs at the beginning at at the end were a bit much. I have nothing against his faith, I just think it's best to keep Jesus out of my profile. (I'll keep Him in my private life).

Now ask yourself WWJD (What Would Jesus Do). Jesus would click on every one of those slutty little advertisements all around this post! He helps those who help themselves right?

Just Another High-Paid Fire Pole Maintenance Girl!

Headline: keep it 100 or fuk off
Profession: Self Employed
About Me:
Since y'all think I left this paart empty I'll put sumtin first off if I don't reply to ur message it cuz I have no interest so don't send it 109 more times its not. Going to happen lmao don't try to come at me with dat pimp talk u want to recruit go to the stripclub and if u old enough to b my grandfather or father bounce I ain't wit using viagra oh n those here for intimate encounter or dtf don't bother I'm not a hoe and u won't get none lmao ok that it for now since y'all were complaining bout it being empty
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Blogger Commentary:
Self employed in a part of the country where people pay top-dollar for tight bodies. I'm sure that she is just a well-paid fire pole maintenance girl.

Now get on over there and click on those ads! Make that paper! Click those ads!

Snap-Back Sitin' Like A Bottle Cap!

About Me:
wat im look 4 in a woman is sumbody tat nice tat got sumthing going 4 them self sumbody tat fun to be around who is funny nt all tat serious n i also want a gurl tat i can be there bestie n there boyfriend im 19 i lyke to hang wit friends party i work i go to college try to learn criminal justice maybe one day be a police officer n move up to crime scene investigator music i lyke is rap and hip hop artist are Tyler the creator lil Wayne Tupac biggie Eminem n drake at time
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Blogger Commentary:
You gotta love it when you can hear this person's Haitian accent just by reading his profile! Sad though, that he probably doesn't know any better.

so apparently the fashion trend is to wear a snap-back hat sized to sit like a bottle cap on top of your head? Perhaps I'm just getting old and just don't understand these youngsters anymore!

Now git busy clickin' on dem ads under dis post an to da right hand side!

Keep It Classy While I Slut-It-Up For You!

Headline: Keep it classy follow me on ig!
About Me:
Just ask. Follow me on IG [REMOVED]
PLEASE DO NOT just write HEY or WHAT'S UP! That's really boring you will get ignored.
-----------------------------------------
Blogger Commentary:
Another example of a girl sending completely conflicting messages. She wants you to "keep it classy" yet she sluts it up quite nicely. Perhaps if she WAS a classy girl, she would have actually wore clothes!

Additionally, with the blatant lack of information about her in her "About Me" section, the only thing to talk about really are her physical assets.

Ohhhhhh!! Yes baby! Click my Ads! Click them!! Mmmmmm….I love the way you click my advertisements!!  Ohhhhh you’re sooo good!!!! Thank YOU!!!! Muahxoxoxoxo!

Take The Money And Run! FAST!!!

 

Education: High School
Profession: Work
About Me:
If you want to get to know me more hit me up
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Blogger Commentary:
This guy is just begging to get taken! I'm quite certain that there are a few folks with just as cool nick names who would love to talk to this guy- to name a few: DEA, IRS, DHS, INS....among others.

Surely his High school guidance counselor must have informed him of IRS Form 8300: Report of Cash Payments Over $10,000 Received in a Trade or Business.

As far as his "profession" is concerned "work" is also a street industry term for performing illicit tasks.

Before you date this fine young man, ladies, you may want to do a background check on him to ensure that you aren't caught in a dragnet with this guy for his felonious activities.

I would highly encourage you to use a fake name and location, then take as many of those Benjamin's home with you as possible!!

Ohhhhhh!! Yes baby! Click my Ads! Click them!! Mmmmmm….I love the way you click my advertisements!!  Ohhhhh you’re sooo good!!!! Thank YOU!!!! Muahxoxoxoxo!

This Is Me Showing My Best Side!

 

About Me:
1. i love to take care of my childed that my hobbies.
2.my golds r to find some one that i can be wifffor a long time.
3.i love to take care of kids an one day i would love to open up a nursy.
4. i love all kinds of music but my best one is rap.

First Date:
for my first date i love to eat and take walks in the park and would love to get to know that special person who ever yhu r
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Blogger Commentary:
Seriously, if this is the first impression this girl wants to show a potential man, holy crap! The guy must have his "bar of standards" set to about ground level. Girl can't dress, can't write, and I'm sure the list doesn't end there! She is skilled at makin' babies at a barely legal age though! Well I suppose her dream of opening up a NURSERY may come true what with her baby makin' skills and all! And she can get it all funded by the government! -and by that I mean welfare checks!

She may want to look for a man whose first name may be Cleatus!

Ohhhhhh!! Yes baby! Click my Ads! Click them!! Mmmmmm….I love the way you click my advertisements!!  Ohhhhh you’re sooo good!!!! Thank YOU!!!! Muahxoxoxoxo!

Not A Racist- Just Be Pink!

Headline: Likes to be rhode hard and put up wet
Interests:
Tats
Firm a$$s
Piercings
Breast

About Me:
Fun loving and looking for fun with wild women ... Color is not a problem blk or white it's all pink in the middle
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Blogger Commentary:
At least his dog loves him! Such a warm, welcoming look this guy has! On the positive side, at least this guy isn't a racist- his only qualification is that they be pink in the middle. I suppose that's not too much to ask these days!

Ohhhhhh!! Yes baby! Click my Ads! Click them!! Mmmmmm….I love the way you click my advertisements!!  Ohhhhh you’re sooo good!!!! Thank YOU!!!! Muahxoxoxoxo!

Safety First! That's This Cougar's Motto- And OSHA Thanks You For That!

About Me:
I love to travel. Hawaii,Los Angeles and New Orleans are my favorite spots. I love the movies and go often. I love to have great conversation over coffee and love to eat out.

I am a happy positive person who loves life. Though I am not opposed to guys in their 40's I am a cougar and do prefer younger men in their 20's and 30's. Please guys, do NOT contact me if:

You don't like a girl with a big ass. I'm a sexy BBW.
You don't want to use a condom. There is too much funk out there not to be careful
.
You're easily offeneded. I'm a naughty girl and love to party. If you want a good girl look under long term.


And guys if I don't get back to you right away don't think I'm ignoring you. And if you are not in Arizona please don't message me unless you plan on visiting Phoenix. I just don't have time to chat with you unless you're local and want to hook up. I get a lot of messages and try to get back to everyone if you send me a nice message. Btw if there are any hot ladies reading this please feel free to contact me. I am curious. Also, I am just looking for fwb nsa fun. Oh, and if you're a young military guy you def have my attention. I have a thing for you military guys. mmmmmmmm
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Blogger Commentary:
Bmmpff..........Excuse me......I think I just threw up a little in my mouth! Uggggg!

In the words of Forrest Gump: That's all I have to say about that.

Ohhhhhh!! Yes baby! Click my Ads! Click them!! Mmmmmm….I love the way you click my advertisements!!  Ohhhhh you’re sooo good!!!! Thank YOU!!!! Muahxoxoxoxo!

LOOK! Buckwheat Grew Up Into A Man-Slut!

Headline: I am look for a big booty who love sexx
About Me:
I Want ****n I look for friends
First Date:
I love eat **** n I want my****suck
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Blogger Commentary:
Hey All you single ladies! It looks like Buckwheat still exists! (And from what I can tell, is in need of some MANSCAPING) He seems to have grown into quite the little slut, -but we can't really fault him for that.

Ohhhhhh!! Yes baby! Click my Ads! Click them!! Mmmmmm….I love the way you click my advertisements!!  Ohhhhh you’re sooo good!!!! Thank YOU!!!! Muahxoxoxoxo!

She's Got Junk In The Trunk- Nothin' 'Tween The Ears!

Headline: come and get me am weating for u boo
About Me:
i love to go to move and to. meat new pelp in life.
am not about game.
so dont play them with me .
cuz i wont with u boo and love to meat new pelp in faierbank
or all over alaske when ever
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Blogger Commentary:
I couldn't understand a damn thing this girl wrote! No matter- At least her "profile" pic looks good!

Ohhhhhh!! Yes baby! Click my Ads! Click them!! Mmmmmm….I love the way you click my advertisements!!  Ohhhhh you’re sooo good!!!! Thank YOU!!!! Muahxoxoxoxo!

I Treat Myself Like A Piece Of Meat- It's Probably How I'll Treat You Too

About Me:
Very Professional but also very laid back...not sweating the small stuff. Looking for an attractive woman who is sexy,confident,intelligent, self assured, strong, independent and likes to have fun...who btw is not opposed to romance and passion. Taking care of myself and staying in shape are important to me and should also be to her. I can be found at the gym 6 or 7 days a week also enjoy running 5K's. I am confident and comfortable in my own skin. Being on the beach is 1 of my favorite things. Physical attraction, chemistry and a sense of humor are a must. Love live bands and dancing so having some rhythm is helpful.

First Date:
Nothing serious maybe a drink some dancing....who knows take it from there
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Blogger Commentary:
This is this guy's ONE AND ONLY photo! Just a torso. WTF? Who does this? -Oh yeah, a self-absorbed masochist.

Ladies apparently all you get in this deal is a big slab of meat. Makes you think if he treats himself like a piece of meat (as pictured here), he likely will treat you the same way. If you are cool with this, then sign yourself up!

He doesn't show his face- perhaps if his torso is his best feature, he's probably hideous! I took the creative liberty of interpreting what his face looks like (given the region of America where he lives).

P.S. He says he is a banker. Can you say MOMMY MAKEOVER!!

ENJOY!!

Ohhhhhh!! Yes baby! Click my Ads! Click them!! Mmmmmm….I love the way you click my advertisements!!  Ohhhhh you’re sooo good!!!! Thank YOU!!!! Muahxoxoxoxo!

Uhhhhhh...Hey Beavis.......This Chick's Coooool! ....H he he...

 

About Me:
I am a divorced mother of three wonderful children looking for a companion to s -pend time with and get laid. jk lol. but really... just heavy petting. I'm sick of masturbating and am seeking the real thing ;) if you can't tell, I have an excellent sense of humor. I read comic books on a daily basis LOL.

First Date
romantic walk on the beach with lots of rose pedals and maybe a candle lit dinner follwed by a board game. preferably candy land. the end.
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Blogger Commentary:
I love her honesty! That's so awesome! Although I must admit that my Beavis and Butt Head alter ego kicked in there for a while and had fun with the word play in her profile!

Ya know, and if she is a comic book geek, she just may enjoy hanging out with the guy below her. (and when I say "hanging out with" I mean, full financial support and housing of that guy). -Who knows it could work! I'm sure that he's pretty skilled at what she likes to do too. -Just Sayin'

I Call It MARKET RESEARCH.... You Call It Living In My Parents Basement

Profession: Market Research
About Me:
I work from home where I conduct market research. I'm also an avid collector and dealer of vintage video games, video tapes, records, toys and other odds and ends. I like to cook curries and stews and soups. My favorite band at the moment is Coheed & Cambria.
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Blogger Commentary:
Profession: Market Research- By "market research" I mean I surf Google all day long!
About Me:
I work from home where I conduct market research. (By this he means that he lives in his parents basement surfing Google all day long) I'm also an avid collector and dealer of vintage video games, video tapes, records, toys and other odds and ends. (By this he means that he has EVERY gaming system known to man, and enjoys playing them all day in his parents basement.) I like to cook curries and stews and soups. My favorite band at the moment is Coheed & Cambria

Awww, It's the boy who refuses to grow up and be a real man. He still collects his toys and video games thinking that someday this eclectic collection of his will someday make him RICH! And then he will have the last laugh on the world!

He is the type of guy who is always frustrated because he is SO MISUNDERSTOOD! If people could just see the world through HIS eyes! Uhhhhh....Sorry to burst your bubble there bud, but we did see the world through your eyes, and then we stopped at the age of around 16 and a half. - which is where we finally realized no one will take us seriously by playing with our childhood toys, living in our parents basement playing video games all day and calling it market research.

You Just Got TOLD Boyz!!

About Me:
I am a transplant from up north .I am an outgoing,straight to the point,caring and very affectionate female. I am looking for a grown-ass MAN that is living like a man. Someone that I can have fun with I hate "dry" uptight ppl. I love to laugh. The sexiest thing to me is a funny man. Ii want a sensual ,sexy man that is attentive to me and not just assume I like what otherwomen like. Im confused..why are some of you using the "long term" profile to get sex? Really though sir?? Im not at all interested in being anyone's booty call or side piece. Also fellas if I cant physically speak to u and u.are a serial texter ummm... figure it out that I AM NOT gonna talk to u for a week via text..control,alt delete. Why is asking for sane,normal and no behavioral health issues like pulling teeth? Some of these folk are damn crazy..smh..look fellas not tryna b funny but...if u r any of the following.....gay,bi,tri=tryin shit,married,attached,engaged,baby mamma drama,stalkers etc.. Please miss me wit alll that!
And last but not least if you dont have time,got game and other sh*t with u please dont waste my time or yours..

Update: Fellas, if one more person ask me for an ass shot ima cuss! I mean really? If the size of my ass is a determining factor or a dealbreaker I dont want to deal with u no way. What if I was the type to ask for a pic of your "piece" and it wasnt what im used to..should that b a dealbreaker sir? Hmm? I hear crickets..and dammit! Ppl weed ,dippers,pcp,reefer,loud,pacqiou,purp,haze,boat whatever ur drug of choice is called in ur neck of the damn woods PSA: ITS A DRUG! CHECK YES U DO DRUGS ! IF I MEET ONE MORE DAMN POTHEAD /DIPPERHEAD SMH..
Now I kinda see why some of u are single..focused on the wrong stuff to base a relationship on.
And some of yall..smfh..stop acting like u are hard up for sex we all know u can get sex when u cant get a sandwich..if u cant then idk what to tell u..its not the end of the world I see alot of u want respectful women..well how respectful is that to spread eagle on the first date? Make up your mind half the time I dont even think some of yall know what yall want because some of the messages ive been getting .....*blankstare* im just gon say "oh you TRIED IT! and with that being said if you cant send a respectful message sit down and have a few seats until you realize how to address a lady,please & thank you
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Blogger Commentary:
I'm adding this profile because I really love it! Yes the grammar is horrendous, but I was actually laughing out loud while reading this! Any guy who reads this profile JUST GOT TOLD! LOL. I can only imagine the dating horror stories this woman has gone through! I mean, I have heard some doosies, but I have a feeling this woman could shock me to a whole new level with her dating stories!

Love this woman!!

Objects In The Rear View Mirror May Seem Closer Than They Appear.....STALKER!!!

Blogger Commentary:
This is the best profile photo this guy could come up with? Perhaps if he looks best in his rear view mirror, maybe you should leave him in YOUR rear view mirror! What the hell are people thinking anymore?

I Wasn't Born This Way......

About Me:
I'm a different person....Firstly, I'm a pre-op transexual, not a born female. I am an entertainer as well. I live here in Jacksonville, and been hurt a number of times, but that hurt has turned me into the beautiful person I am today! Do not waste time because life is too short.... You should message me if you are interested, and let's see where it goes.... I am looking for a relationship but its doesn't have to be the topic of conversation.

First Date:
I just wanna be able to be me..... If he's down ,and can accept that, then we're in business!
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Blogger Commentary:
I think I just found a date for the guy below this girl! I think they would be great together:)

Says: "I'm a different person...." YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN!!

"I'm an entertainer" - I'm sure this one is HIGHLY entertaining to be around!!

Good luck to whoever dates this one!!

50 Shades Of Grey? (He Would Like To Think So) WARNING! EXPLICIT CONTENT!!

Headline: rub my lips on it kiss both thighs
About Me:
what i said and do on my page is me and how i feel if i speak or say something to u dont mean i want you am going to say do what i feel on my page u dont like kick a wheel am doing me i like to have fun express my self

First Date:
Cradled between your tender thighs
I lift you to my mouth.
The abundance of your wetness greets me
and my mouth overflows with your warm essence.
Your sweet taste is on my tongue
and your fragrance delights my senses.
No gentle lick this visit.
No bashful cautious approach
For I wish to consume you.

Push against my hungry mouth
As the tip of my tongue slides up the slippery furrow
that welcomes me between rows of delicate pink petals.
Thrust against my generous tongue.

Show me the power of your desire
for my oral caress.
My exploring tongue lifts the hood
and finds your smooth firm pearl.
You squeal in that unique way,
signaling that I have found your special spot.
I harden in response.

My jaws protests what my open mouth provides
but I am unrelenting in my gift,
intent only on your fulfillment.
I feel your body tense,
and you are quiet now...
Concentrating... bearing down.
Soon now my love,
ecstasy approaches.

You push hard and fast against my tongue,
shameless in using me
and I so willingly comply
until you cry out...
and in your satisfaction,
I will find mine,
But mine will be the greater.

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Blogger Commentary:
This guy I believe fancies himself as a "Christian Grey" from the "mommy porn" series: 50 Shades of Grey.  

He apparently has nothing else to offer you  other than quotes from an adult novel he picked up somewhere, and his wannabe LL Cool J lip lick.

WHAT AN IDIOT!! lol.

Unhappily Married- Seeking Friends With Benefits

Stats:
Marital Status: Married

About Me:
I am fun loving, confident, sexy and I have a heart larger than life. I am brutally honest, so if you do not like that, move on. I am in a marriage that I am not happy with, just because I'm here does not mean I'm a slut or a whore, I just need that void in my life filled. Looking for one person to be my FWB.

First Date:
Somewhere public with no expectations for anything more than good conversation and go from there.
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Blogger Commentary:
OK fellas' check your moral compass at the door to wrap your mind around this one! She's looking for FWB (Friends With Benefits).

With an unhappy wife usually comes an unhappy husband, you might want to watch your back on this one too.

4 Rednecks, And A 4-Wheeler....What Every Girl Has Always Dreamed Of!

Stats:
Drinks more than 3 times a week.

About Me:
Hello!!! I am 25 years old like to go out and party with all my friends. I am into outdoors activities bonfires, fourwheelers, off roading, and hunting I'm a bit of a country boy. Recently bought a house that I share with my big American bulldog diesel. I find this site to be a little creepy and funny. Well i guess if ya want to know anything else hit me up. I think its just easier for the girl to start the convo since im sure all the ladies get a sh*t ton of perverted messages from some weirdos.

First Date:
Depends on the girl and the time of the year. With some nice weather I would like to go out and do something fun!
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Blogger Commentary:
Which one of the 4 rednecks on this 4-wheeler is this profile referring to? Perhaps this is one of those "I drink more than 3 times a week" photo-ops! This could be a preview of what your first date may be like. -You, 3 of his redneck buddies, and an abused 4-wheeler!!

Gentlemen Only- Even If I Wear The Uniform Of A Slut

Profession: Tease
About Me:
looking for someone to have fun with nothing serious I enjoy my job hiking shopping and relaxing with a glass of wine by a pool .. can you be a gentleman?
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Blogger Commentary:
So she's asking for her guy to be a "gentleman" when she's wearing the uniform of a slut. -Kind of a conflict of interest wouldn't you think? As you can see in this photo she is accentuating her finest assets.

Her profession is listed as "Tease," again, here we go with the conflict of interest if she is seeking to be treated like she is requesting.

Perhaps before beginning this date, you may want to have her sign a liability waiver, to ensure everyone is legally covered from any misinterpretations of the messages she is sending.

Look Everyone, Eor Is A Real Person!!

I am a kind, caring person. I am not the most motivated person anymore, but I try. I like music. I play the guitar, but am quite rusty at it. I used to sing too, but my voice has deteriorated for some unknown reason.

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Blogger Commentary:
Look ladies, it's the live version of Eor the donkey! And this guy kinda looks like the embodiment of Eor too!
 

The Next Beyoncé You Are NOT!

Stats:
Perfers not to say if she drinks or not
Profession: RN
Headline: *~Time: live it, Date: fuk it~*•
About Me:
I guess some men dont know wen dey got sumthin good...I am very loyal and trust worthy. I like to draw, play video games, kickn it. my goals r to graduate n get my degree n RN n to go back to skoo fo anesthesiologist n i wnt to own a business later in life.i am very determined.i am nice, sweet, loving,cn b cold hearted, complicated sumtimes. i love to read n i like all music except fo certain stuff. i like all cultures n i love to learn about different cultures as well even der language. i am black, italian,indian, etc.
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Blogger Commentary:
From my experiences in writing this blog, it has been a recurring pattern that any woman in the nursing profession seems to be straight out of the "hood," and all wanna-be-gangsta! Maybe I should never go to a hospital EVER if this trend seems to continue.

Note to future employers: This is a prime example of why you would want to check a job candidates social media pages prior to hiring them. - Very scary.....

Uhhhhhhhhhh..........?????????? What?

Stats: 60 yrs. old.
Headline: Liberal Progressive Free Thinker seeking
About Me:
The headline explains a lot. It's not something easy to find with all the conservative-inspired fear and hysteria that's out there. So if you're a fan of Glen or Rush, move on, please. If you're more concerned with money than people, well, keep looking. If you think corporations are people — hey, show me their birth certificates, why don't you. Oh, and I want ALL my personal relationships to be with a person, here, and now.
I like having a full life. However, this fullness includes time spent with someone who is both endearing and companionable. I've met some very nice people over time. But so far the connection I'm looking for hasn't materialized. The efforts have been honest but have yielded no fruit. It's all about the connection, for me. I also believe that it's not something easily revealed quickly. The true nature of a relationship is brewed over time. The quality of a relationship is revealed over time. It's much like stock simmering on the stove — the longer it simmers the more its essence is released. Unfortunately, perhaps for me, so many people want to move quickly. I've found that path just doesn't work for me. I want to spend time getting to know someone, one step at a time. While I haven't connected with the love I'd follow to the ends of the earth (wait, did I say that out loud?) I have found some good friends.
As I tell everyone "I live alone." (It's a standard gag.) My only child is living in Vermont after graduating college. She's taking some time off before going off to grad school. My little house in this quiet neighborhood is rather empty. My time is filled with taking care of all the gardens and the house itself. I bought the place because it needed little work compared to the old house in Uptown. However, I didn't factor in the time required to tend the 11 gardens. Sometimes I think a 55 gallon drum of Treflan would be just about right.
I've always got some project going on. I'm not terribly good at sitting still. I tend to do things, make things, learn things instead. I don't care for television. I've spent more than 30 years in the media of one form or another and personally I'd much rather read or do something else instead of sitting in front of the tube. Of course that doesn't dismiss the collection of movies downstairs--that's another case altogether.
I'm originally from New England. I've been here for many years now, having come out here for college; then leaving and returning several times. At one point I spent about a year living in France. The rest of my family is still on the East Coast.
I like to cook when I have someone to cook for. Yes, I can actually do more than push buttons on a microwave. I seek intelligent conversation, and believe in reason and thoughtfulness. I can be exacting but I am fiercely loyal and supportive. I take my work seriously but don't take myself very seriously at all. I'm interested in being with someone kind and compassionate and genuine--someone soft, and gentle and understanding who prefers to be a partner in all things. Life hasn't always been easy, but I see no point in making it any harder than need be.
I'm proudly liberal. I care about people, their (our) well being. I have little patience with prying self important busy bodies who concern themselves with only money.
Music? I actually don't listen to music all that much. I listen to a tremendous number of audiobooks. At that some time I have an oddly eclectic collection of music I've picked up from around to world. It ranges from Western European classical to drum sets from Africa, pop tunes from Spain, Italian opera, singer/songwriter pieces from all over, folk music from the 60s, well, lots from the 60s (and no, I don't remember all of the 60s), and more traditional music from the Andes to Ireland and the island to the east of it.
So that's probably enough for now. More comes with conversation. I'm a rather retiring type, so it takes a bit to get out of my shell. But once I do you'd never know that I was ever shy in the first place.
Oh yeah, among other things, I spend some time on boats.

First Date:
I actually enjoy going out to eat. It gives us a chance to sit and relax, have a little something to eat and get to know each other a little. I enjoy good food and small quiet restaurants. I even enjoy cooking, but only if there's someone else to cook for.
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Blogger Commentary:
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............Oh, OK. you're done reading his manifesto. Whew! This guy is a whole different brand of freaky weird! Holy crap!

Good luck with this guy ladies!!

Sharing Is Caring...Right?

Stats: Married.
About Me:
Happily married in an open marriage. Looking for new friends and people to hang out with. Looking for new experiences.
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Blogger Commentary:
Uhhhhh......She should totally contact the devil in the post below her! -Just sayin'......

Forget 50 Shades Of Grey...More Like 50 Reasons To Run Away!!

Are you interested in hanging out, playing pool, having fun, NSA sex, swingers' clubs, swingers' vacations, etc?

How about jumping out of planes, getting in the car and heading to parts unknown on a whim, scuba diving? What about engaging in various forms of fornication & copulation while doing them?

If you're not scared, and can really be a NSA or FWB, let's do it!!!
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Blogger Commentary:
Uhhhhhh......This guy looks like the devil! Is this his "trust me, I'm safe" look? I have no problem with people who want to live the swinger lifestyle- It's their own business among consenting adults. this guy DOES NOT put the "Grrrrrrrrrr" in SWINGER. (That's Austin Power's job). This guy puts the "911.... I'm about to be assaulted and raped!" in swinger.

Even Flavor Flav Is Wondering W.T.F. !?

Headline: BADD B*TCH!
Stats: Drinks more than 3 times a week.
Profession: Customer service representative

About Me:
I love to chill wit my daughta, my goal is to open my own hair salon.. Ima down ass females, if you keep it G wit me, ill keep it G witchu.. I like rap, hip hop, r&b, slow jams.. I love basketball & football.. 76ers & da Eagles..

First Date:
Our first date we could go to eat then to the movies then back to my krib & sip on a lil sumthin
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Blogger Commentary:
I think this girl was probably rejected to be on the reality show "Flavor Of Love" with Flavor Flav (pictured above). I think they would make a cute couple though.

So This Is How Successful Dream Chasin' N****s Pose?

Headline: Just a hood Nigga Chasing his dreams....
Stats: Smokes occasionally, Does drugs socially,
Profession: Football

About Me:
I'm a sinner who probably going to sin again loud forgive me for things I don't understand. Sometimes I got be alone **** don't kill my Vibe. [REMOVED] NFL follow the journey

First Date:
Just have to wait and find out
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Blogger Commentary:
I think we gotta get this guy hooked up with Tony Robbins or somethin' He's OBVIOUSLY a professional football player- because that's what he put for his profession. It appears he has the party life of a football star nailed, just not the skill part that got the football star to where they are.

He has the dream, but it seems hasn't done anything to actually realize it. He smokes a lot of weed (I'm assuming) but keeps saying. I'll workout on the field tomorrow.

I kinda feel bad for this kid. Maybe he just needs an intervention instead of an interception!

Goldilocks Has Turrets!

Blogger Commentary:
What The Hell?? What was this woman thinking posting this pic on her profile? Are "crazy eyes" the new vogue fashion where she's from? To be fair, she may have had one of her fake eye lashes fall into her eye causing extreme irritation just as the photo snapped. -It could happen. Perhaps she just has an extreme case of Turrets Syndrome- in which case, we shouldn't make fun. (I apologize)

You Too Can Be A White Dot In His Next Profile Pic!

Blogger Commentary:
This guy screams CLASS! Most of his profile photos had women's faces with white dots over them. It's as though he has no friends to take an actual photo of just himself, and he isn't able to operate the camera to take a cheesy bathroom mirror shot or something?

Ladies, if your looking for the "white dot" treatment, this is your guy!